Friendly Friends and Amiable Enemies;
I'm a middle-aged guy relatively new to computers. In the last year and a half, I've learned a lot that I didn't know before. I wish the World Wide Web had been around when I was younger during the Sixties. Believe me, my life would have been Soooo different. So would my grades. No matter what our ages are, we're lucky to have been around to see the Internet develop and grow into God Knows What. It may turn out to be the most significant development in the history of the world. That's why it pains me to see men of varying demographics making damn fools of themselves with it.
Since getting computerized, I've had occassions to go into chat rooms. I have a vocabulary that would make a sailor blush. Some of the language, and sexual attitudes towards women I've witnessed in these chat rooms would make an entire battleship red with shame. If a woman gives the slightest inkling that she's attractive, she's suddenly barraged with wonderful words like "What's your breast size?", "Are you into bondage?" or "Shut up, bitch and give me head!" If someone was trying to make an impression like that in public, security or police would be called. But it's so safe from a keyboard, isn't it?
A woman I know personally has had to change her screen names many times because of cyber-stalkers. Under one former name, she would not have been logged on for even 15 seconds when this one guy, who happened to live about 3 hours from here, would be IMing her. She had things she needed to do on her computer, and this yutz is verbally trying to twist her arm to find out where she works so that he can bring her some flowers, among other things. Until she changed her screen name, he never gave her a moment's peace. She made the mistake of being nice to people, as she was taught by her parents.
Guys, guys, guys, it's really very simple: YOU'RE GIVING THE ENTIRE GENDER A BAD NAME! YOU'RE MAKING ME EMBARRASSED TO BE A MAN, AND I DON'T WANT TO GET THE DAMN OPERATION! Haven't we all seen women before? Of course we have, so why act like you've never seen one, or never been around one? A little common sense might go a long way not only toward happiness online, but for a happy life for you, her, and whoever else is in your version of the world:
First, If a woman is nice enough to let you IM with her, or exchange emails with you, don't act like you own her. My friend told me that a man she was exchanging emails with got mad when she mentioned that she had went out on a date the night before. The two were like 2,500 miles apart. Hello? What am I missing here? She took him off her buddy list in seconds flat.
Second, Don't force your phone number on her without her asking for it. In public or in Cyberland, that is a red flag to women. It's interpreted as a sign of desperation. Do you want to appear desperate?
Third, Unless you start buying her clothes, her bra size is NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS! What if she asked you what your unit's size is? I'll bet you'd be mad if she did, yet she's not supposed to get mad? And, would you be truthful? And you expect her to be open and honest? Look up the term "double standard".
Fourth, I've chatted with plenty of women online. While it's been a mostly pleasant experience, I don't expect to find love, sex, or anything other than a nice online friendship. If something else happens, it's like anything else in romantic life: IT'S TOTALLY UNEXPECTED! In case you haven't noticed, close encounters of the romantic kind always seem to happen when you least expect them to occur. Happy accidents. Seems to me that if you go online expecting to find love or lust, you're setting yourself up for major disappointments one right after the other. Are you masochistic that way? Nothing beats chance encounters.
Fifth, as for the rough language used, you may find 1 in 500 chicks who like that sort of thing, but since most chat rooms hold less than 50 people, that's an awful lot of sifting, especially when the room is mostly filled with guys without a social life, hoping to find the same thing you're looking for. And what's the good if 1) you can't get her attention? and 2) she's hundreds or thousands of miles away? Do you really think a chick like that doesn't have offers where she is? Do you really believe that she was waiting just for you? Also, isn't it damn selfish to IM someone when they're involved in a chat room conversation?
Finally, You all have or have had mothers. I'm sure that you're familiar with the concepts of sisters, girlfriends, wives, aunts, cousins, female friends and other types of women that you care about. Every woman that you encounter either socially or online falls into at least one of those categories. I'm sure that somebody somewhere cares about them. Think about the women that you really care about in any of those categories. Would you want someone that you or her don't know talking to her like that?
THINK, WILL YA GUYS?!! We can do better. We can be better.
That's all you get. That's all you deserve. Until our paths cross again, Yegg